The Theology of breaking up

I read this one in blogosphere today and smiled...I hope it makes you smile:

Atheist: The burden of proof is on you to establish the existence of this so-called "god" but I believe that if there was any such divine entity "it" would not want us to continue dating.
Intelligent Design Theorist: Our relationship bears the marks of irreducible complexity making it too difficult to explain by way of natural causes. Therefore, the most reasonable conclusion is that we were designed to break up since things have gotten so complicated.
Arminian: While you love me and have a wonderful plan for my life, I have the power to resist your will. If I did not, love would not be possible. For our relationship to be loving it needs to include the possibility of breaking up--something I am doing right now.
Open Theist: I am not really sure if we are supposed to be together, because neither is God.
Theistic Evolutionist: The beauty and rhythm of random variation and natural selection over long periods of time has presented us with a world where God has shown us that our relationship is too biologically expensive to maintain and is destined for extinction.
Young Earth Creationist: No, I do not believe we have been going out for that long. Our relationship is only six days old and on the seventh God rested. I think we need a rest too.
Emergent: The question of whether we are in a relationship or not is mired in Modernity's obsession with propositional truth. A better way to look at this is to enter into God's story about how he lead us together and is now leading us apart. Lutheran: I want our relationship to continue, but first there are a few things about you that God wants to change. Here is a list of 95 that I made. What? OK, then, I guess we're done.Fundamentalist: You have tarnished the pure nature of our love by incorporating such heathen elements as "dating" and "fun." I am afraid I can no longer court you--yea, even speak to you--until you repent of this apostasy.And the topper...Calvinist: We were predestined before the creation of the world to break up according to God's good pleasure. I am, on my own power, unable to break up with you apart from the irresistible draw of God's sovereign grace which leads me to end this relationship. Those that truly break up will not get back together in the end.

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